When summer fades autumn falls

I made it to my third trimester.  I have about two and a half months until our sweet little boy enters the world. It's hard to believe. I've been thinking about time lately, as the season has changed and as my heart comes closer to realizing the changes in my own life that lie ahead. Time is precious. It keeps moving forward and never stops or slows down. I wish I could hold onto every meaningful moment in my life, but beyond my control everything changes. That is something I've experienced again and again. So I've learned to keep the memories close to my heart and look forward to the moments I'll treasure tomorrow. In the meantime I've been enjoying one on one time with Bryer, as I know that this is the time to do so since we only have each other. I enjoy watching her as she grows. I love every little thing that she does and I adore the person she is. Her great big smile, the way she says please and thank you, and never fails to ask me if I'm okay. : ) I love her fascination with nature and her love for the outdoors. She is a brilliant human being and I am so blessed to have her in my life. She is so much like her daddy, someone who means the world to me as well. Every day she reminds me of him.

We were so blessed this passed week for the opportunity to get to spend a whole week together instead of just two days. It was so nice having him home. We even got the chance to do a fall pregnancy photo shoot out at the ranch. The weather cooperated nicely and the fall colors were gorgeous. My little sister Reyna came too, and helped out a lot with the shoot.

First, we went to the pond and fed the ducks. It was difficult to get a good shot with them because they would run away from Bryer, haha.

 She was completely content out there in the wide open field

 Here is some footage of Bryer. CJ had been waiting for that stare all day. She finally did it but he was recording!

It's a boy!

Baby Jett

That's right! Bryer will have a baby brother by the end of December or beginning of January. We already have his name picked out: Jett Alexander. Time to pack away all of Bryer's old girl things and get all new boy clothes. I'm about 21 weeks and this pregnancy is moving right along! My appointment and ultrasound went well and everything looks normal so far. For that I am grateful.

I'll admit, when I first became pregnant I had mixed feelings. I was still happy but had all these worries running through my head. I worried that it would take something away from Bryer because she is still so little. I worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of them both being so close in age, that it would be too much for me to handle. I wondered how I could possibly do it all on my own since we had just taken the traveling job. I had planned to wait three years before I had another child and this wasn't my plan at all. It was the end of the semester, we were busy with finals and graduation,  and all the while caring for my one year old. There were times I felt so sick and tired but I had to keep going. Following graduation we picked up and moved to another state. After the move there were days I couldn't get off the couch. I was exhausted. The pregnancy combined with all of that sucked the energy right out of me. I seriously thought something was wrong with me.

But it didn't last forever. After we got settled in things started to slow down. I started feeling better as I came into my second trimester. And as soon as I started showing and feeling little baby kicks I instantly grew a bond with this child. It became real to me. I have this precious baby growing inside of me and I'm going to be it's mommy. It is going to complete my world.

I've grown a lot stronger and found out a lot of things about myself through all of this combined with CJ being away. I learned that I could love another baby just as much as I love Bryer, and that Bryer would be okay, even better with a sibling close by her side. I learned that it was okay that things didn't go how I planned because God had something even better planned for me. I learned that sometimes sacrifices are worth making for something better to evolve. This hasn't been easy and I know that it won't be easy after he is born but I also know that it will be worth it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Simple day with Bryer

I followed Miss Bryer around with the camera today and got some cute pictures of her doing her every day thing. I enjoy our simple days together. Diaper changes, feeding, playing, baths, and reading books never get old. I love what I do.

She watches Prada out the window in the back yard and observes all the beauty in this world.

 

She gathers her blankets and all the pillows to make a nest, and cuddles up with her baby doll.

Tonight on face time she sang her ABC's with Daddy. It was so cute, she even put her little hand up to give him a high five. I cannot wait until the 27th when we go pick him up at the airport! 

xoxo

Popsicles & warm days

We stay inside during the day because of the blazing heat so I have made going outside to play every evening part of our routine. She absolutely loves being outside. One of the things CJ always did when he was home was share a popsicle with her. So tonight after dinner I gave her one and took her outside to play. She sat down on the steps and ate the whole thing all by herself. Daddy would be proud. :)

I think we're adjusting quite well. Every night since he's been gone we talk on face time and it makes things a little easier. Bryer blows him kisses and speaks to him in her own baby language.  Sometimes during the day I'll start thinking about him being gone and quickly find something to do before I freak myself out. I'm actually surprised with how well I'm handling everything, and keeping my mind occupied. I couldn't do it without my heavenly father, he has definitely given me strength. I'm relying fully on him now and I haven't felt this close to him in a long time. I can feel his love and comfort. I know that everything will be okay.

Thanks for reading <3
xoxo